When You Cannot Agree on an Estate Plan

Seeking Unity with Your Spouse

Marriage is a gracious gift from God. He joins two people with different backgrounds, experiences, and opinions and calls them to live together in love, patience, and unity (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:21–33).

Those differences can become especially noticeable when creating a will or trust. Consider these five steps:

1. Acknowledge the Difficulty

Estate planning involves family, money, death, and deeply held convictions. Commit yourselves to speaking truthfully and listening patiently (Ephesians 4:15).

2. Pray Together

Do not approach the conversation as a contest. Ask the Lord for wisdom, humility, and unity (James 1:5; Philippians 2:3–4).

3. Begin with Shared Convictions

Before discussing percentages and possessions, consider what you both hope your plan will accomplish. How will you provide for your family, practice faithful stewardship, and reflect your Christian faith (1 Timothy 5:8; Matthew 6:33)?

4. Understand Your Differences

Identify where you disagree and why. Seek understanding before proposing solutions (James 1:19; Proverbs 18:13).

5. Consider Wise Alternatives

Different planning tools may address each spouse’s concerns while remaining faithful to your common goals. Wise counsel can help you see options you may not have considered (Proverbs 15:22).

Through the RCUS partnership with Barnabas Foundation, you have complimentary access to confidential planning assistance from professionals who understand both charitable planning and Christian stewardship.

To schedule a conversation, Email giving@rcus.org.

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